ONEVOICE NEVER SILENCED
THE HOME FOR ALL BE YOU MAN, WOMAN OR CHILD. WE ARE HERE TO COCOON, SERVE & PROTECT.
IT IS MY MISSION TO ENSURE ALL ORGANISATIONS BOTH GOVERNMENT AND NGO UNDERSTAND THE RISKS AND DANGERS OF A SAFE ADDRESS DISCLOSURE/EXPOSURE
EVE'S STORY
Eve Thomas was created in memory of my wonderful grandparents John Thomas and Evelyn Watson who I love with all my heart and I hope that they are smiling now as they hopefully look down and see that their grand daughter is happy and smiling too.
I am the first daughter of Darrell and Hilary and came into this world in July 1968 in Hope Hospital, Salford, Manchester.
I have spent all of my adult life working hard to help others and have worked for the NHS in the mental health sector, the education system in secondary schools and social services where I managed a team of staff and worked in the community with a broad range of clients from mental health to domestic violence/abuse. I also set up a befriending scheme in the community and recruited/managed the volunteers.
I have been known to be outspoken and have highlighted abuse in the past,whilst working for the NHS not caring that the individuals I reported were senior management, I stood by my guns and stood by the victims because yes that is what they had become, patients had become victims and I could not stand by silently and allow this to continue.
I have come a long way in my lifetime to finally be able to really smile. I was also a victim of domestic
violence/abuse for over twenty years; I say was because the title I wear with
the most pride is SURVIVOR!
For
a very long time I didn’t recognise what was happening to me how my life
gradually slipped away until I was trapped with no one and nowhere to turn. I no longer recognised the truth, my life a
constant web of let downs and lies.
I
lived for the good days, the smiles and laughter but as the years passed by
they happened less and less.
Now
I was a little firework back in the day but slowly my sparkle disappeared as I
became a totally different person, my old self lost as gradually I submitted and even though abuse prevailed and innocent others got hurt I remained silent, something I fight against now every day. I worked in the profession, I was a professional yet I stayed silent to what was happening around me, to me because I was petrified and yes I will say it embarrassed. I should have spoke up, I should have said something and defended but I was powerless, I lost my voice, I was a shell.
The constant verbal
put downs were the worst and his words left deep scars that I still fight to overcome. I know that as each day passes I become stronger, my voice becomes louder and I feel empowerment within myself as I now once again speak out about abuse. Bruises, cuts
and broken bones hurt like hell and there have been many times that I genuinely
feared for my life but for me and many other victims I have learnt, the emotional abuse is the worst.
I fight every day to be a survivor and I do not use the word "escaped" lightly. I
use the word fight because I am no longer a victim, I broke free and I’ve
worked hard to become the survivor I am today.
There is life after domestic violence you can smile again.
I guess I will always shudder when I hear the
word “ugly” and the amount of times I heard “I’m too good for you, bet you
thought you’d won the lottery” are countless but I am trying. I spent many years thinking I was never good
enough but guess what, I AM GOOD ENOUGH!
I'm not perfect I like every other person have a lot to learn and I too am taking a journey as we all are. I will always stand by the side of the victim and if I and OneVoice Never Silenced can help then we will.
My health isn't too good, I have problems with my back and neck and have stenosis and have recently been diagnosed with TIA's, the cause is yet to be confirmed but I am smiling, I own my voice and I am using it wisely I hope now. I don't get paid a penny and most of what I have done is via social media and email whilst I'm resting, social media is bloody wonderful I really never expected to be able to reach as many people as we have to date. I would love a job, to be paid for what I do but sadly due to my health problems this door has been shut many times and so I decided to learn, to educate myself and as I have taken my own journey I have researched, worked hard and along the way helped many victims by offering an ear, my support and signposting them to services that I too have researched so that every victim that comes to Onevoice Never Silenced has THE best possible support available and so is cocooned - a protected and safe victim makes a stronger witness!
Another biggy for me is therapy because without it victims cannot truly become survivors. I strongly believe that for every victim there is a key to what works for them. I have researched and studied many different forms of therapy and whilst I would never dream of recommending any personally I will encourage any victim to look deep within themselves to find their own key. For me it was writing and yes frankly I suck at it but I found my key to complete the cycle and along with that came healing so that my mind, heart and eyes were truly open. I shed the chains of my past, I survived and I used my time very wisely educating myself, increasing my knowledge, something that I now what to share, now I have really found my key. :)
We need to keep the conversation flowing and social media is awesome for this, whilst debating and discussing abuse a massive audience is being reached and hopefully we can reach many more silent victims. I stayed silent for too long, no more. :)))
I hope you will take some time to have a look around my website, I am running a guest blog and there are some thought provoking pieces on there and if you fancy submitting a piece I will happily post for you as long as it fits in with my missions and aims.
I hate judgement and discrimination and OneVoice Never Silenced welcomes ALL be you man, woman or child but I do need to add this. I loathe child abuse, children are OFF limits and there are NO excuses, yes mental health problems are a great concern here and that needs highly specialist help help that I am honestly going to say I cannot get involved in. Yes if a child abuser asks me to signpost to help then of course I would but I will discriminate against any child abuser and not enter into conversation, I also wish to state that I do not wish to receive any correspondence from any child predator. MY voice, MY wishes and choices.
My life has changed so much and it is exciting. In February I start BSL British Sign Language, 1 in 2 deaf woman are victims of domestic violence, shocking and so I feel it is a necessary skill to have, I am looking forward to learning a new and very beautiful language. In February, fingers crossed I will begin to study for a law degree and in March I will complete my Ambassador training with CEOP.
If I could have one wish it would be this - please look beyond the survivor of domestic violence and abuse, I am a strong, educated woman with a very fierce passion, yes too fierce at times lol, to speak out about abuse. I do have knowledge and have spent my adult life working and studying in these fields. I am much more than the 1 in 4 statistic, I am me. Never mistake my kindness for weakness, I have seen too much, been through too much and I have had some excellent teachers. The difference between myself and a "professional" is that I am a professional but I have EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING, I have been there, I have been a victim and I have journeyed to become a survivor and with that my heart, mind and eyes are open. I refuse to be bitter, I refuse to cry about it anymore it made me who I am today and so I use my past and knowledge to raise awareness and use my voice. The difference between myself and others is that yes I have worked as a professional for NHS, Education, Social Services etc but I am no longer tied by any organisation who may try to silence my voice or persuade me to think and feel otherwise, I cannot be manipulated.
What you see is what you get, I control me, no organisation or brand, If I recommend something then I believe in it and I strongly believe in transparency too whilst protecting confidentiality/identities etc. I'm not attached to any politic party and I'm not out to please anyone I am here to speak out about abuse and injustice and raise what ever awareness I can whilst hopefully also educating others. I am 4ft 10" and about 6 stone and I was silent for just a while but now I am back, a survivor who has shed the chains of her past and is smiling knowing that no matter what is thrown her way she can bounce back. The abuse happened to me for a reason, the court case and me nearly going to prison happened for a reason, the injustice I have encountered happened for a reason and that reason was because even though it may bend me for a while it will never break me and I will use my voice so that hopefully it does not happen to anyone else. I have been a victim I know what it feels like to be petrified so if I can use my voice to reach silent others too then I will.
To the professionals I say this: I am not out to take over your organisations I am here for victims and strongly believe that there is no "top dog". We should ALL be working together so that victims get THE BEST possible service and feel safe and protected. If its good I will say if it is bad and has failed a victim then I will say so too. I always have permission from the victim before I act. If my research, my knowledge means a victim is safe and advised, signposted to the very best services then that is team work and we are getting the job done. If failings are highlighted then isn't it wise to raise awareness to this so that lessons are really learnt? I don't want to "bad mouth" organisations I want to work with you, share my knowledge so victims are not put in danger/at risk and left un-supported. YOU rely on the victims that come to you for help to be witnesses - protect, cocoon and support victims and you will have more coming forward and reporting and much stronger witnesses.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the OneVoice Never Silenced Board and everyone who has helped me so far. You have shared your knowledge and wisdom and allowed me to do the same, thank you.
I have always said the keys are there, I am me, a common sense gal, a professional with a heart, there are many like me I am a tiny tiddler in a very big ocean. Yes I was a victim of domestic violence, yes I have seen, heard and experienced some horrific things during my life both personally and professionally but I did not let abuse beat me, I fought back and I served my time wisely, I educated myself, I opened my eyes and above all else I refused to allow it to make me bitter. I don't think I am always right, I'm human and make mistakes but I've learnt a lot, I just want to share it with you all.
p.s. please don't forget to sign the petition :)
SURVIVORS NOT VICTIMS!
Together
we stand; together we can make a difference.
Eve
x
PHd in Abuse/Life :)
Twitter:
@evethomas40
