TRIGGER WARNING I hope after you read this statement that you sign the petition which can be found here. I know we have an Early Day Motion thanks to the intervention of Shadow Minister of Justice Dan Jarvis MP and Rob Flello MP but we cannot afford to be complacent. Eve's Law and Eve's Marker is common sense and has the potential to protect so many victims not just those of domestic violence/abuse. We are meeting again with the Ministry Of Justice in the New Year and again would like to thank Prime Minister David Cameron and Rt. Hon Damian Green MP for their intervention also. I hope common sense now prevails. I have offered to work with both the Ministry Of Justice and Dan Jarvis and his team and hope that together victims at last have the right to safety and protection. I extend this to any other campaigns that fight for similar as I, my resources are your resources, my research and knowledge I share. I know everyone is busy and has their own lives to lead but I ask could you spare a few minutes and send a quick email to your local MP and ask will they support Eve's Law and Eve's Marker, ask them will they sign the EDM after the festive recess so that we can really push this forward. The snowball has grown so big but we cannot afford to let it melt, we have made the connections, we have presented the legal brief and solutions to easy implementation, the decisions now lie in the hands of those in power - may common sense be with them. Victim Statement – Please note that this statement has been redacted for confidentiality I have been asked by One Voice Never Silenced to provide a statement regarding the civil courts involvement in my non-molestation order and how they put my life in danger by disclosing my address to my abuser. In order to provide you with these details I will have to give you some background into my relationship with my abuser. I have a great deal of reluctance in reliving the years and years of abuse I suffered at his hands, I will however try my best, and I will go into some detail as I want you to understand what it took for me to leave, and the incredible danger I was in. My abuser’s name was ‘L’ [name supplied], I can write his name but even following a year of counselling for anxiety, I am very uncomfortable saying his name aloud. I give you his name so you can check criminal records and the sex offenders list for details of his crimes against me. I want no part of my statement to be doubted and so you can therefore check the details for yourself. The address I lived with him at was [supplied]. This was his address at the time of the civil court orders. Following the sale of the house, I do not know for certain where he was living. Following his release from prison I was not allowed to know his address to, “protect his human rights.” I know that it was somewhere in [supplied], but that is a large area, perhaps you will find it in his records. I lived with him for eight years at the address, and we had a son together who is now nearly 14. I was 17 when I met L and he was 32, I met him at work where he was my manager. During the eight years that we lived together, L was always a controlling man, the emotional abuse that I received will probably never leave me, even though my physical scars have faded and the bruises have gone, having been controlled psychologically for the majority of my adult life will affect me forever. The violence I suffered at his hands varied greatly: threat of violence, which was constant and would cause me to suffer panic attacks, hacking my hair off to affect my appearance, physically humiliating me by stripping me naked and forcing me outside into the street, pushing me so hard I would fall heavily onto objects that would hurt me, spitting on me, throwing things at me (ranging from small objects such as mobile phones to large objects such as wardrobes) vomiting into his hands and throwing it in my face, holding me down and making me eat his vomit, hitting me repeatedly, kicking me repeatedly, hitting me with objects, stubbing cigarettes out on me, ramming my head into walls or other objects, attacking me while driving, throwing me down the stairs. He would usually incapacitate me before assaulting me sexually, either choosing a time when I was drunk, or he would beat me unconscious or drug me. On one occasion he temporarily blinded me before attacking me, this was one of the worst assaults I suffered, not just because of the force of the attack, or the things he did, or the length of time the attack was continued, but because I remained conscious throughout, not seeing, only hearing my own screams of terror, begging and pleading for him to stop, the sound of him laughing at me, “this pathetic whore, this fat, disgusting slag,” the sound of maniacal enjoyment in his voice as he shouted at me between kicking me and burning me, and in the minutes he would stop between attacks to catch his breath, the sound of him sharpening knives. These sounds will haunt me forever, I only have to close my eyes. The rapes I sustained I barely remember, which is a blessing. He was always careful to drug me before these. I was always aware that something had happened the next day but I could never ask what, I would know that it had been forceful and vicious because of the pain I would be in and the blood that I would find. I wasn’t aware of what he had actually been doing to me until much later I found photographs on his computer of the sexual assaults he had been subjecting me to. Again they were based around humiliating me, positioning me naked into horrible violating poses, inserting large and disgusting objects into my vagina and anus, posing in the photographs himself with his penis against my obviously unconscious face. He had taken the photographs on a camera and then uploaded them to the home computer hard drive. He had very much intended on keeping them for a reason, after I left he referred to the photographs in a text sent to my father, that he would print the photographs off and distribute them around my work and around the village I was living in. His main purpose in life was controlling, threatening and abusing me. During the eight years I had lived with him he had thrown me out of the house twice during violent rows and then demanded I return, both times I had refused, but he eventually managed to claw me back into living with him by stalking me, wearing me down and playing on my low self-esteem, convincing me that no-one other than him would ever want me and that all the problems we had were my fault and that I was lucky to have him. I fell for it both times and went back and the abuse would start again. In the final six months of living with him, the abuse was so bad that I did plan to escape. It was at a point that he was rarely home, he was always at work or out drinking. When he was home it was because he had no money to go out with so he would be unbearable until I gave him enough money to go out drinking with, he would then come home still angry that I had taken too long in giving him money and make me suffer for it. I was no longer allowed to sleep in bed. I had been sleeping on the floor of my son’s bedroom for some time by now. I would get my son to sleep then barricade the bedroom door in the hope it might keep L out. I was also out of contact with friends and family in an emergency, he had disconnected the home phone and any mobile phone I had ever had he had smashed to pieces. I knew in my heart that he was building up to an outburst that would probably kill me if I was still there and so I started to make arrangements to leave as secretly as I could. I had to plan it carefully, as I knew from the previous attempts to stay away from him that it would be almost impossible. During his previous stalking campaigns he had hidden in my mother’s garden waiting for me to arrive to attack me, he had followed me to friends’ houses and verbally assaulted them, he had followed me to work and when I was stopped at traffic lights attempted to pull a passenger from my car. He would call me at work and threaten me, call various departments in my office and tell anyone he spoke to that I was a lesbian, alcoholic, drug addict and an unfit mother. He would wait for me outside work to harass me and my colleagues. I would be unable to go anywhere as he would be following me or would find me. I had no choice but to isolate myself from going out or from other people as it was putting others in danger. I was fortunate that my father owned a property in [supplied] that he rented out and that it was at the time, empty. He of course said I could live there and over a few weeks we moved in some basic furniture, and I tried to work out how I would leave. My escape house ended up standing empty for months while I tried to get the courage to leave, I knew what it would mean, I knew that he would terrorize my family and my friends, that he would make my life hell at work, that perhaps I would have to leave my job because of it. I knew that I would constantly be in danger from the second I left and that it would take everything I had to be strong and fight, and I was already so tired. But he wouldn’t know where I was when I was in my house, I would be safe. My son would be safe. I needed to keep him safe above everything else. The day we actually left was out of emergency rather than planning. It was a case of he was in such a rage on his way to work, (I drove him and he attacked me in the car on the way,) that I knew that had I been in the house on his return that night he would have killed me without a doubt. I left him at work went back to the house and grabbed what little possessions I had, (I wasn’t allowed possessions by then, anything I had owned he had burned in a fire some months previously,) and toys and clothes for my son and ran. We stayed with my dad for a week and made sure that’s where he thought we were before moving into our secret house, and to begin with he only harassed me at work a small amount. I think this was because the day after we left he had managed to empty my bank account and so probably had enough money to keep going out with his mates. It soon ran out though and the harassment and stalking started at work in full again. He did not know where we were living though and the feeling of safety for myself and to know my son was safe, it was worth the fear of what would happen at work, it was incredible, I had never been safe before. I discussed the situation with work and how they could help and what I could do for everyone’s safety. The only option seemed to be to get a restraining order and so I saw a solicitor who told me about non-molestation orders and harassment orders (my father had to get a harassment order against him also,) and this is what was applied for. There was a small hearing which he had the option to attend but didn’t and the order was made that he was to stay away from me and not to threaten me. The order was served on him by process server while I was at home with my son. I knew it had been served not because it had been reported back from the process server but because L was outside my house banging on my windows and door, damaging my car and threatening me, I was stunned that he had found me. I later discovered that the non-molestation order meant to protect me had my full address written on the front page and was handed directly to him. My safety was gone, the first time in my adult life I had felt safe and it had been taken from me out of the carelessness of the civil courts. L spent the next few days walking past my house at various times of day and night, each time hammering on the windows and door and shouting down the street to frighten me. He also started coming past quietly to try and catch me out in the hope that I may be outside. I didn’t go outside. I had friend in the house with me constantly, and if I needed anything I would send them. I knew he was coming past quietly because every morning there would be damage to my car, hundreds of pounds worth of damage. It was usually that he had slashed my tyres; I would check every day as it would happen every day, but what if I had forgotten one morning and driven with my son in the car, we could have had a serious accident. The fear was the worst part. Waiting to hear breaking glass in the night. Waiting for him to finally break in. Waiting for him to come and get me. He’d been so violent in the past but that was nothing to compare for what he had in store for me. I was as good as dead. It was too much for me and fortunately we were able to move in with a friend for nearly a year. I told no-one where I was. Not work, friends or even my mum. If I couldn’t trust the court that was supposed to protect me then who could I trust? I suffered from terrible panic attacks terrified that he may have found us again from the slightest noise. I had eventually told the police about the photographs he had on his computer. I hadn’t wanted to I really didn’t want to go through a criminal trial, but I went to them mostly out of desperation for him to stay away from me as the non-molestation order didn’t work at all. He would keep breaking it because he didn’t care. In the end he broke the order five times and received a two week suspended sentence which he laughed at. It cost me nearly £4000 in court and solicitors fees, and most importantly my safety, my home. After he was arrested over the photographs, he did mostly stay away, in that I couldn’t prove he had been near to me. This may have been because I had moved again and he couldn’t find me, that I had changed jobs and he no longer could harass me there or because it was part of his bail conditions and he may have been put on remand had he broken them. He still turned up at my son’s school drunk and shouting, but because my father was picking my son up that day and not me, it did not break either my non-molestation order or the bail conditions, only my father’s harassment order which was then extended for a further three months but had no repercussions on L. I had been determined to go back to my house where I had had that feeling of safety despite him knowing the address now, I was determined he wouldn’t take anything else from me. So during the year we had been in hiding, I made my house into a fortress. I had all the windows and doors replaced with higher security versions, I had an upstairs window converted into an escape route, I had numerous fire alarms fitted, a fireproof letter box, a static and mobile panic button which immediately alerted the police and allowed them to hear inside my home, many, many dead bolts on doors and a comprehensive CCTV system surrounding the front and back of the house. The criminal trial eventually came and he pleaded not guilty despite the clear photographic evidence. This meant that I was cross examined in Crown Court and as I’m sure you are aware in any sexual assault/rape case because the Defendant is presumed innocent till proven guilty and the victim is usually the only witness to events, the victim is as much on trial as the Defendant. I had to provide medical records as he had claimed I had sexually transmitted diseases from being promiscuous, and he requested my bank statements which I refused to give as I knew this was an effort by him to discover where I was living and working. The main defence was that I was a liar and a sexual deviant. That I wanted the assaults to happen, that I fully consented. The prosecution was that the photographic evidence showed that I was unconscious in all of the photographs, that they were taken on different occasions but that one series of photographs taken on the same evening showed that I had underwear on in one of the pictures and that he had clearly removed my underwear in the next photograph. That it would have been impossible for me to consent to this as I was unconscious in all of the pictures. He was found guilty and was sentenced to four years in prison. He served two and was released on licence. Part of his licence conditions was that he was not to enter a perimeter given to him on a map that included my house in [supplied]. It did not state on the map where my house was. The Crown Court didn’t want him to know where my house was and were very careful. It was already too late for me though as the civil courts hadn’t been as careful with my details and he was well aware of where my house was. The fact that the crown court took this action without my even requesting it means that it is possible to implement in the civil courts quite easily, why could this level of sensitivity not be used in the civil courts. While L was in prison I tried to get on with my life and have the life I had always wanted. I got married and had a daughter and we lived in my house in [supplied] happily. But then he was released. Despite his licence conditions stating the perimeter he was not allowed inside and that he was supposed to be under supervision and curfew, ten days following his release I caught him at two o’clock in the morning on my CCTV looking through my front window. My daughter was still only a baby at that time and I had been awake, breast feeding her in the front room. He had been watching us through the window through a crack in the blinds. Despite having a recording of him, that was clearly him, (he was a very distinctive man,) one of his friends gave him an alibi and the CPS decided that they couldn’t pursue it further. As he was shown the CCTV footage he now knew where my cameras were pointed and how close he could get to my house. I caught him several more times on the perimeter of the camera angles with his face obscured. No-one else would have known it was him I suppose but I would know him anywhere. When his licence was up he immediately returned to [supplied] and started to work in a bar approximately 700 feet from my house. He wasn’t breaking any rules in doing that. The police knew he was there, knew who he was and were very unhappy about it but they couldn’t do anything unless he assaulted me again. I had to walk past him daily with my daughter in her pram. I do not know where I found the strength to do that but I was determined that he would not frighten me away again. I was not the person he had tortured anymore; I was not going to show my daughter no matter how young she was that I was afraid of that monster. It took me six months to organise my escape from the house I shared with L. I left in June 2006, my address was given to him by the civil courts in July 2006. He was found guilty of the criminal charges in December 2007 and was convicted in February 2008. He was released from prison in February 2010 and came off licence February 2012. He had the good grace to die of a heart attack at the beginning of August 2013. Now I am safe in my house, safe because he is dead. But I had been safe seven years prior for just over a month before the carelessness of the civil court destroyed that. If he had caught me unawares at any point during those seven years coming out of my house he would have murdered me. I have no doubt of that. It is by pure luck that I escaped an early and brutal death at his hands, and I would still be under threat of that now had he not been so dedicated to his forty a day habit. I have detailed my abuse to show what he would have done to me if he had caught me unaware outside of my house. I have detailed the criminal proceedings and his breech of his licence conditions to show that he was never going to give up while he knew where I was. I have told you of my panic attacks, the isolation, the terror and the fear I was put under, the counselling I had to have, in order to show you just how it affected me. I escaped him in 2006, I should have spent the last seven years free. Instead I was forced to spend those years in terror and fear of my own murder. I can blame him for that but I can also lay a large amount of blame at the feet of the civil courts. I was angry that such a lack of care was given to my address on something as sensitive as a non-molestation order. On learning that I was not an isolated case, not even a rare case, I am a common case, I was and I am, utterly furious. Read what this man did to me! What he would have continued to do to me had I not escaped! Why was I not protected? Why when at the most vulnerable time of my life, were my details not considered important enough to be kept private? WHY are the civil courts giving these details away to the very people who we need protecting from? It’s common sense surely? It angers me that this happened to me but the thought that other victims are subject to this treatment by the civil courts, this lack of judgment, this utter incompetence disgusts me. The thought that victims have been murdered because of this incompetence makes my blood boil. As it should yours. It isn’t even difficult to prevent. One change will stop this from happening. Eve’s marker against any sensitive information that is not to be disclosed will immediately tell any court official that the information is highly sensitive and to be withheld. It’s as simple as that. It’s as simple as that to save lives. Dated: 10th December 2013 |
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